My last post was far too long and serious. So in the name of balance let me give you something short and ridiculous.
Here are some of my favourite from American news shows. I’m ashamed to admit that I laughed most at the last clip.
Here are some of my favourite from American news shows. I’m ashamed to admit that I laughed most at the last clip.
‘This little guy’ is not having fun you stupid woman.
I actually feel sorry for the cockroach, that guy was screaming like a two year old girl.
Yeah. You laughed.
4 comments...:
... and that's precisely why I prefer my grapes machine or hand pressed!
No toe jam and no face plants. ;)
How stupid was that woman holding the cat? Any fool who has a cat anywhere near them growling like that knows to put it down.
Nice kitty, pretty kitty... My eye! My beautiful eye!!!
I really enjoyed the painful moaning at the end of the last clip, but now I feel guilty for laughing.
Well, guess who just did the same thing as you? That's right, I'm currently at my parent's place, basking in the aftermath of a good ol' fashion coming out. I decided I should probably tell them before my party on Saturday considering that they're funding it and I've pretty much had to tell them that they're not welcome to come, of which, for some strange reason, my conscience was telling wasn't such a great thing for me to do. Yes, I have a conscience. Who would have thought? So, I get home around 9-30, Mum's in bed, Dad's on the computer finishing off some work and about to head to bed. "Dad, can I borrow you for a minute?"
So I drag him outside in the rain so I can smoke my lungs out. I'm an anxious smoker. Then I spill.
Silence.
He considers my words, then his and finally expells a "well, I'm disappointed". This was actually a bit of a surprise, I always thought that he would react fairly well and be a little more accepting. I press on, but it's quite evident he wants to leave the conversation as soon as he can and finishes with a "shall I break it to your mother?"
"No, bring her out here, I'll do it."
She comes out in her dressing gown, thinking I'm about to tell her I accidentally ran over a small herd of preschoolers whilst smoking crack. I close the door on Dad so it's just me and her and break the news.
Silence. Not like the other silence, this was more prolonged and involved a look somewhere close to disgust.
I ramble on about "can't change who I am", "have to work with the cards we're dealt", "I'm the same person, it's just a different and not so important aspect" and "it's something that you and Dad will just have to learn to accept." It would be much more convenient if Hallmark produced some sort of a "Sorry Mum and Dad, but I suck dick" card, then I wouldn't have to reel off this bullshit myself.
Mum eventually starts quizzing me and Dad breezes in and out of the conversation and before making the effort to say that he loves me and patting my shoulder uncomfortably and going to bed citing illness. (Funnily enough, he's just walked in to shake my hand and tell me that everything will be alright, he just wants me to be happy.)
So Mum and I talked for over an hour, a talk which ended about half an hour ago (and yes, I'm using your blog to keep a record of the event) and, although I'm sure it was the endorphins from the shock kicking in, I had her laughing multiple times before she hugged me and went to bed.
So all in all, it was fairly painless, however I think I'll need to give my lungs a rest after smoking my gazzilionth cigarette of the night. Currently, I'm quite happy that I told them. Yeah, they're disappointed and worried, but they'll get over it in time and it feels good that I can be open with them about this sort of thing now. Is this a heart-warming story or what? I feel like I should be the script writer for some bad American teen sitcom, a la Saved By The Bell.
I think Mum will come early on Saturday night to show that she's OK with everything, before making a quick exit before things become too uncomfortable for her, but hey, I'm happy with that.
I dont often comment on my own blog... but I'll make a rare exception.
Congratulations Simon.
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