At Least I'm Not Drinking

I spent my day keeping busy, so I didn’t have to think about thinking.

Then the random soundtrack of my life, provided by my trusty iFriend, offered up its first song for the evening, and it seemed alarmingly relevant.

I had just slipped beneath the sheets and selected ‘Shuffle Songs’ on my iPod, hopeful that a few quick tunes would help me descend into a coma like sleep. This was to be the final step in my well executed plan to avoid spending any time alone with my thoughts. It didn't work.

Instead, all the thoughts I had been trying to avoid were provoked.

Of all the songs in my collection…

Amy Winehouse - Wake Up Alone

It’s ok in the day,
I’m staying busy,
Tied up enough so I don’t have to wonder where is he.
Got so sick of crying,
So just lately,
When I catch myself I do a 180.
I stay up clean the house; at least I’m not drinking,
Run around just so I don’t have to think about thinking.
That silent sense of content that everyone gets,
Just disappears as soon as the sun sets.

I know my clichéd middle of the night melancholy will probably seem ridiculous in the morning, but I wanted to document this moment for a reason. Despite how embarrassed we may all be to admit it, a simple song played at the right moment has the power to make people feel like it was written just for them. Thinking logically we know that the song was probably written as a result of someone else’s very personal experience, and that countless other people may be having the exact same feeling about the song- but in the moment it’s our song, no matter how irrational that may be.

I’m completely rational, ‘Wake Up Alone’ was written just for me.

I’m off to scrub the bathroom tiles.

Hey Amy- can I get some royalties?