Approximately 5 - 10 times a day I find myself on the phone to my friend Mona, we tend to chat about everything, ranging from the ignorance of the Howard government to the latest Happy Meal Toy available at McDonalds.
One evening last week while engrossed in a conversation about the importance of sushi in modern Australasian cuisine my focus temporarily shifted away from our discussion and I realised that I was sitting in my wardrobe, with the doors closed. In other words I was literally in the closet.
When I interrupted the sushi debate to tell Mona that throughout our phone conversation I had unconsciously wandered into the 'closet' sat down and pulled the door closed she reminded me that I actually did this all the time. As I sat there and thought about it I realised that she was right. I often hang up the phone and crawl out of my closet without giving it a moments thought.
This habit started back when I was living at my previous residence. For 2 years I enjoyed the luxury of a walk in closet. It had enough room for all my clothes and shoes, a chest of drawers, a lamp and a bean bag- so it was actually a mini dressing room. I began taking phone calls in the closet because it was so cozy and it was more insulated and private- this was during the time when I was too scared to say the word gay in my house for fear of my family hearing me. So from that point on I have been spending a lot of time in the closet, despite the fact that it is much more cramped in my new house.
So that brings me to an interesting question. Am I simply in the closet (sitting next to my shoes,) because I'm still in the closet (not out to my family)? Or am I in the closet (not out) because I like being in the closet (with the shoes)?
Any thoughts or comments- besides telling me I used too many brackets- are welcome.
For authenticity purposes I wrote this while sitting in the closet with my laptop. I think I may have discovered the reason for the constant dull pain in my left hip... but on the bright side I found a set of cufflinks that have been missing for six months.
One evening last week while engrossed in a conversation about the importance of sushi in modern Australasian cuisine my focus temporarily shifted away from our discussion and I realised that I was sitting in my wardrobe, with the doors closed. In other words I was literally in the closet.
When I interrupted the sushi debate to tell Mona that throughout our phone conversation I had unconsciously wandered into the 'closet' sat down and pulled the door closed she reminded me that I actually did this all the time. As I sat there and thought about it I realised that she was right. I often hang up the phone and crawl out of my closet without giving it a moments thought.
This habit started back when I was living at my previous residence. For 2 years I enjoyed the luxury of a walk in closet. It had enough room for all my clothes and shoes, a chest of drawers, a lamp and a bean bag- so it was actually a mini dressing room. I began taking phone calls in the closet because it was so cozy and it was more insulated and private- this was during the time when I was too scared to say the word gay in my house for fear of my family hearing me. So from that point on I have been spending a lot of time in the closet, despite the fact that it is much more cramped in my new house.
So that brings me to an interesting question. Am I simply in the closet (sitting next to my shoes,) because I'm still in the closet (not out to my family)? Or am I in the closet (not out) because I like being in the closet (with the shoes)?
Any thoughts or comments- besides telling me I used too many brackets- are welcome.
For authenticity purposes I wrote this while sitting in the closet with my laptop. I think I may have discovered the reason for the constant dull pain in my left hip... but on the bright side I found a set of cufflinks that have been missing for six months.
Oprah's closet. Money can buy happiness.
13 comments:
Well you are out of closet (gay) to pretty much everyone, so i dont think your being in the closet (shoes) is a subconcious act of hiding your sessuality.
I think you are in the closet (shoes) because you use it as a security blanket, and a kind of cone of silence from your eavesdropping family.
Believe me, if i were as skinny as you and had a closet big enough, i'd probably do the same.
But who am i to say, my best friend still doesnt know i'm gay...
...now where is that closet of mine?
Can't say much about what that is supposed to mean...but I do love the imagery.
I just moved into an apartment with BIRs easily large enough to lounge around in. I stepped in there once, and made one amusing comment to the effect that I was back in my closet.
As comforting and dark as it was - I realised there were dozens of things I could keep in there that I didn't want to see all the time. So there is no room now in my closet for me, and my life is better for it.
So I suggest you leave the closet behind, fill it with things that are less enjoyable to look at. Unless of course you're planning more jaw surgery.
Who the hell is this "stu" character and does he even know you? What a dumb cunt.
This 'stu cunt' is the close friend/botanist life partner of THIS cunt, so step off, 'anonymous'.
..and yes, he does know Michael - we even had yum cha all together once!!
step off, fool - and use your name when you post, scaredy pie!!
unless of course you are Mona, in which case, I will step off imediately :)
HA!
wow interesting comments. all i have to say is this, coming out to friends is a totally different experience when compared with coming out to family. i can honestly understand the sitting in the closet thing. just go with whatever works for you.
I don't care about the identity of anonymous 2... but I simply must know the identity of anonymous 1!!!!!
You know who you are!!!
Come out on a blog 'comments' section!!!!
I dare ya!!!!!
We are a caring, sharing, cunt lovin', blogging community!!!
Do it!!!
Re: Simon
I totally agree, I never really came out to friends at school because being in a country town I knew it would get back to my folks and that was not something I was ready for.
Of course when an alcoholic lesbian decided to tell my parents at a Christmas party, it turned out I was ready.
Praise Jebus for tequila or I might still be trying to come out!
Re: Anonymous2
I'd usually assume that someone who doesn't leave their name is less likely to know the author...if that person does know the author they must have a great reason for hiding their identity. Or it could just be paranoia about 'the man'.
Clearly you are too immature to come out to your family. I'm not trying to be harsh- but you are obviously not ready if you are stil literally hiding in the closet.
Everyone needs to stop filling the comments section with their own personal crusades. Comment on what is written on go do something productive.
By the way Michael, you dont know me.
And you thought that only 3.2 readers looked at this blog!! This clearly writes that theory off!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Oh man... I can't believe that 'other' said "you don't know me!!".
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Immature much?
I guess i'll go and "on go do something productive."
P.S. suck my balls!
oh... and hi Anthony (Genza)...
I do know you, and you do know me :)
Hi Michael! I thought this was a good time to post a comment on your blog. It seems everyone has something to say.
Unfortunately or fortunately I dont know any of the people making comments here. But I do know you.
Here are my thoughts about the closet issue. You just really enjoy the company of your clothes and shoes. Nothing wrong with that. Enjoy your time in the closet and I'll see you soon.
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