Lesson #3: Don't Ignore Chest Pains

When I decided to stop blogging back in September I had no idea that life was about to get so interesting. Had I realised that the next few months would present me with endless opportunities to exploit myself for other peoples entertainment I would never have shut down the blog.

So where did I leave off?

Oh that's right, I left with the promise that when I eventually returned to the blog I would no longer be censoring myself. Clearly that was a lie, partly because I dont want to incriminate anyone who happens to stumble into my life, and partly because I'm lazy. One hundred percent honesty is too much work.

This post was supposed to be full of all the hilarious stories about the events of the past few months but after eating enough pasta to feed a family of four I'm feeling bloated and lazy. So instead I'll follow the tradition of the 'MichaelWho Blog' and summarise. Here are some of the lessons I have learned recently.


Lesson #1: No one likes a drunken skank.

After three solid months of frequenting 'A Bar Called Barry's' on Thursday nights for their Queer & Alternative night I felt myself turning into someone I didn't like. That sounds pretty deep but actually its quite simple, I was beginning to act like a skank. Which is just like being a skank but without all the sex. Anyway, I took a break from the Q&A scene and spent some time tormenting myself for being an idiot, soon thereafter I vowed not to be an idiot ever again.


Lesson #2: When the going gets tough, I become a towel throwing expert.

For those of you can't translate my odd mixed metaphor, let me explain. Since leaving high school I have taken up numerous academic pursuits, but every time the pressure became too much, like when I actually had to do something besides drink coffee and have pretentious conversations, I would quit and move on to something else. Through the latter half of this year I was faced with an unrelenting workload that beat me down like a polar bear bitch-slapping a penguin. After seriously contemplating faking a nervous breakdown to get out of yet another course I decided to burry myself in study and actually finish the year. When I finished I proceeded to pat myself on the back, it wasn't as rewarding as I had hoped.


Lesson #3: Don't Ignore Chest Pains

I'm not going to turn this into a lung related complain'a'thon. I'll break it down- my lung spontaneously collapsed, the doctor yelled at me for not taking it seriously and the nurses thought I had an eating disorder. I spent 5 days in hospital, the lung was fixed, I feel fine and people continue to subject me to random seemingly unrelated tests which are sending me bankrupt. Stupid lung.


I haven't spent this much time typing since completing my last assignment- I'm having unwelcome flashbacks so I'm going to stop here. Please enjoy this completely random photo of me with a helmet stuck on my head.

(PHOTO REMOVED 2012 - WHAT WAS I THINKING?)