Mariah Carey On Crack

Something that you may not know about my blog is that I actually write a lot more than you actually see posted here. I have at least ten complete posts that have never sent the light of day, for various reasons. The main reason for withholding these phantom posts- besides the fact that they are boring and unfunny- is the constant changes in my mood.

I have more moodswings than Mariah Carey on crack. The changes my seem subtle to the untrained eye but I have learned that my outlook can change dramatically from one minute to the next. Sounds complicated and a bit disconcerting I know, but actually it just makes my days more interesting.

So how does this affect the blogging process you might be wondering... (if at this point you are not 'wondering' in the least you might want to return to doing something productive because I'm about to start rambling.) Well what happens is, I spend twenty minutes writing a post about something that has annoyed me or made me laugh and when I go back to read through it I no longer feel that way. This has happened numerous times when I've written something and not posted it straight away. For example, I got my braces fitted two days ago, below is an excerpt of the post I wrote soon after.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned- not true. Hell, and Earth for that matter, has bigger problems- 22 year olds who have just had braces fitted.

Today was the big day, the braces went on. Knowing that I still have the metal jaw stretching device in my mouth, it has been there since the operation in May, just imagine how metallic my mouth is at the moment. All jokes aside I'm confident that I would actually set off metal detectors, which is the only fun thing I can associate with the current f***ed up state of my mouth.

etc... (Its started to get a bit graphic and violent at this point.)

I was too tired to finish the blog that night so I saved it, when I returned to post it the next day I just didn't feel so angry about the whole situation anymore. Actually I felt a bit embarrassed for complaining about braces, I mean children have braces without being so melodramatic. I distinctly recall having a conversation with a 12 year old girl in the orthodontists office (don't judge me, I'm just a friendly person,) she was about to have braces put on and much to the disgust of her mother I was telling the girl how much I hated the idea of having braces. She responded simply,

'Get over it. They don't stay on forever.'

She has a good point, and her shrill little voice echoed in my head as I decided to refrain from posting yet another bitter story.

So there you go, because of my moodswings you miss out on some great rants and even some interesting declarations of love (sorry Mona), because I just cant seem to maintain any kind of emotional stability.

It's hard work being this unstable. Time to go, one of the voices in my head wants a green tea and a new pair of pants.